Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Outtakes


At the Halloween party I was going on with my usual routine -the nature of existence, a long philosophical debate about happiness and animals with a metal head. After a few hours of people watching and revelry, I set off toward my vehicle. "Don't leave now, Ivan" one young lady pleaded, "we're finally drunk enough to understand you!"

***

A buddy and I went to a park and inspired by observing the log decided to toss it off the bridge. After taking turns carrying it, this task was accomplished. The log flew and neatly bounced off the bridge embankment without breaking. Like a nail bouncing off a wooden table or something. It was neat.

...I am almost thirty and unemployed.

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I went on a marathon of watching various Anthony Bourdain television programs. Though the amount of insight and spirit he can pack into a cable travel show is admirable and exceptional, the sight of animal flesh being cooked and consumed in so many ways reinforced my misanthropic notion of humanity as a basically parasitic species that leeches on a biosystem and finds literally thousands of different ways to suck life out of it. This encouraged me in my own very long-term goal of becoming a vegetarian or at least remove meat from my daily diet on most days of the week.

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A friend requested me not to make a post on facebook in case (s)he decided to end his(her) life. I asked if I could at least make a blog post about it. This was permitted.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

In the Year 2014...


I distinctly remember the moment in my college life when I ventured to the restroom and a guy inside was pulling out these paper towels (napkins?) from the rusty dispenser.

"What is this?" he asked, "I thought we're supposed to have better technology. This is 2008!"

Yes, our wildest dreams about the future have not been realized. No flying cars, no menacing robots, no seductive female aliens. The 2001 Space Odyssey is already in the past; proving that works of art expressing universal themes are better off without a year attached to their titles.

All we have to show for ourselves are our smart phones toward which we glance nervously to check up on superficial contacts with "friends" (from whom these very phones have alienated us), a pope who hinted that being gay is okay and a black president with a white mother.

We are a little better off on the dystopian front with global warming, bearded terrorists and all that jazz; but most of the people directly affected are poor anyway and their third-world dystopia is not something that really concerns us all that much.

Everything would be lost were it not for the neo-Stalinist Chinese government that proposed matching outfits for the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation conference.

To be honest, dark purple never looked so good. There is a kind of a sweet banality in herding the bros of power into something resembling a well-tailored Star Trek convention. All of this suggests a kind of Confucian order to the political universe that is unfortunately absent when everyone retreats back to their respective mother ships.

But if I were to send a capsule back to 1960's in the non-existent time machine, why not throw in these conference shots, give the peaceniks some hope for a purple haze in the distant 2014. Look! Stephen Harper is almost making a Vulcan salute... almost.