Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Work-Life Balance

I earn my money laboring in a call center.

Recently my supervisor was walking by my corner workstation.

To her question of how I was doing I replied, "With every call, a small part of me dies."

"Good," she answered, "you could use to lose some weight."

"That's cold," a cubicle neighbor chipped in.

***

During my scheduled break I ventured for a walk. Randomly, in the empty hall, I encountered a large paper box filled with (unused) tampons and maxi pads. I took a single tampon out of this treasure trove and continued out of the building for my fifteen-minute walk.

Upon returning from my stroll, I endeavored to throw the tampon at a male colleague.

After retrieving my prized possession from my amused associate who threatened to soak it in his Mountain Dew bottle, I drew a smiley face on the tampon.

Then -in a high pitch voice of a children's show puppet- I proceeded to tell a number of corny jokes I found on the internet while waiving this anthropomorphic tampon as if the speech was coming out of it.

My coworkers questioned my sanity and begged me to stop. But I refused, the call volume was low and I had time to kill until the end of my shift.

I left work with a reaffirmed conviction that my life lacks a certain kind of meaning.

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